One thing that I have always told myself, throughout the course of my life, is that I should dream big.

Since I am nearing the completion of my degree, which I have been studying at since 2008. Since 2006 if you include my two years in studying the Diploma. I have a firm path in my mind of what I want to achieve in my career.

I want to be an advocate for Early Childhood learning and development. I want to speak about the importance of transition programs that should incorporate schools, prior to school settings and home. I want to own and direct my own preschool and build those important connections between schools, prior to school settings and homes. I want to advocate for the importance of Early Childhood Teachers within settings, both primary and prior to school.

While these are very long term goals, and are goals that I will continue to revise over time. Right now, I have three distinct positions in mind for the type of work that I would love to do right now.

I would love to be a room leader within a long day care setting, of a birth to two/three room.
I would love to be a room leader within a preschool, with the four to five year olds.
I would love to be a Kindergarten teacher.

One of these three, I have an interview for on the upcoming Monday. I am awfully excited.

If you could all cross your toes and fingers, and wish me luck I would really appreciate it! In the meantime, you will have a post in the next few days about portfolio building and interview tips!

I have spent the last five years studying for this moment, where I can finally teach in schools.

The only problem is that it is still early in the first term, and in all honesty I do not know many people who take a sick day within their first few weeks of being back and working. Which means that again, no call this morning.

Sure, I could go and work elsewhere but then that would really defeat the purpose of me studying. While we are being honest, I don’t want to be working in a job during the week, in any field except the one I am trained in, because what if I do get a call one morning and I have to say no.

Do you know what the first thing that will happen to my name is? More than likely it will be crossed off their casual list, and I wont be called again.

While I could just work in a Long Day Care or Preschool, it would mean that I will probably never get full time work within schools, because in order for me to get noticed and known, I have to work casually.

So, I will continue to play the waiting game and hope that I don’t get any more questions about why I am not working yet or when I will be working next, because I don’t know. It will be when someone is sick, training is happening or they go on maternity leave.

If you were a teacher, how long were you a casual before you found full time work in schools?

One thing that I love about teaching is running into the children you have taught.

On Friday afternoon, I went to the local shopping centre, which is also very close to the school where I completed my internship and first four weeks of casual teaching at, and I ran into three children. All would be in year one now.

The first, recognised me immediately. Made my heart skip a little beat as she waved to me really excitedly. The best part, she wasn’t even in my class rather the room right next door!

Then another boy recognised me and exclaimed to his mother that I was his teacher from last year, I just smiled. But I wasn’t, he too was in the class next door.

That was when I noticed a little boy, in a different school uniform to their one, he had moved schools [I did know this]. Instantly I recognised him, and was so happy. I was willing him to notice me, so I could say hello to him. But he didn’t. Even his father looked as though he knew who I was, but wasn’t sure.

I paid for our food and headed out. This little boy, looked at me, trying to figure out where he recognised me from. I didn’t say anything, I just smiled before he quickly caught up to his father.

One of the best things about teaching is seeing the children grow and change. I love it and really hope that some day soon I will get to see all their Year One faces in the next few months.

What a day.

It started off quite loud and I just thought that maybe I just wasn’t being firm enough. But when their normal teacher walked in and got cranky at them for not listening to me. I felt inadequate.

They began to listen a little more but not a lot. Not as much as I would have liked and in the last few moments that I had them, I really enjoyed my time with year three.

Year five were beautiful to begin with. Exactly what I thought that they would be like. Pleasant and have the ability to hold a conversation with you.

It was after lunch that it went pear-shaped. I dealt with a fight in the walls of a classroom and felt that the school really hadn’t prepared me for what I was supposed to do if that happens. In hindsight, I should have sent the pair down to the office to be dealt with by an Assistant Principal or the Principal. Instead, I separated and had them cool off before I spoke to them and advised them that there are better ways to figure out a disagreement.

Then there was a moment where another child began to tell me that he didn’t care that I was a teacher. I think he was annoyed that I had told him to be quiet.

It got to the stage where I didn’t know how to get them to be quiet and to listen. I felt like pulling my hair out.

I really enjoyed my experience on these two classes. Both just for me to see the difference between lower and upper primary. I know that I do prefer lower, specifically Kindergarten but at least I know that I can teach the upper years if need be.

Reflecting back on today I feel that I could have handled things differently and feel that I should ask more questions when arriving at a school to learn what they do in relation to everything. While I know that most schools give casual teachers all the information that they need, I didn’t get anything from this school.

I feel that if I am going to continue to teach upper and lower primary that I really need to get my resources and materials in order. Some of the material that I did have, I felt that was a little above some of the children’s levels. Which is something hard to determine as a casual, but this will mean taking a range of different materials to cater for different children.

Overall, I feel that this morning was great and really felt as though I could do this, and I know that I still can, however, I know that teaching in the lower primary is where I should be.

So, just quietly I am extremely nervous. I am currently working through the final touches of the supporting statement document, which is two pages long and all about me and teaching. Which I wouldn’t expect anything else. I am sitting at a question that is asking me about how I would go about planning a unit of work, and I began waffling on about how I would use the children’s interests, current knowledge and knowledge and skills needed and work the syllabus around it.

Not following?

Okay, so say for example I observe the children having a keen interest in shoes, when they were made, how, why, history, etc. I could then develop a unit of work that would integrate with Mathematics, Science and Technology, English, Creative Arts, PD/H/PE and HSIE. For Mathematics we could compile a graph about the different colours of shoes; the brands; or even whether they are joggers or school shoes. For English we could write about our own shoes and describe them.

Or is this not deemed as a unit of work and more just programming?

I am extremely confused and worry that if I answer this question with too much of an Early Childhood pedagogy it may not work out well. But then again, this is what I have been taught that the children are central to all programming and planning and that the syllabus can be easily fitted into their needs.

Or are they more asking about a unit of work on a particular key learning area, for example Science and Technology? Say where you are exploring Living Things and develop a series of lesson central to that one idea? But then Science and Technology becomes tricky because most schools use those Primary Connections books where you follow their specific plans and the children aren’t really incorporated at all.

Hopefully in the next day or so I can figure out what I want to write and how I want to write it.

I almost called a psychic this morning.

I was thinking about it and my partner rolled his eyes and had that look of not again. So I didn’t.

Part of me wishes I did. At times I feel like I have all these really big decisions to make and at times, I just want someone to tell me which choice that I should make.

The biggest question for me is Early Childhood versus Primary teaching. At times I know exactly what I want and then, there are the times when I question it. I know that I love working with the younger children, but question whether I should just go with the older ages due to better recognition and pay. It compares greatly. Then I worry that I wont find full-time work for a while and that relying on casual work is silly and not going to be enough. Whereas if I go straight into Early Childhood, I can and am pretty much guaranteed a full-time role due for the need for Early Childhood Teachers.

Then I stop and remember that I still have six months until I am qualified and that I should be content with being able to work in a school casually and that in six months time, it will all work out.

As the new year has began it is only appropriate to talk goals.

I am, finally, in my last six months of university with only two other units to finish before the degree is completed. I am crossing my fingers for a high distinction on another assignment, but I will be happy with a pass. After seeing how badly I took the last pass mark, I really do not want to set my self up for a disappointment like that again. Definitely not my finest moment.

Reflecting back on that disappointment, I only want to ensure that I am focused on me as a teacher. Not me as a blogger, designer, and everything else that I was trying to do at the same time. So this year is the year of happy, and I have already stepped back a lot from everything that I was doing. To ensure that university will be completed on a happy note, rather than a stressful one.

Goals do not only have to impact on me for this year but are also ones that I wish to see myself complete in the future. I love having a vision and mission for myself as an Early Childhood Teacher and feel that it will greatly benefit me and the children that I work with in the future.

In 2011 I will:

: finish the Bachelor of Education (Early Childhood Education) in June and graduate in September
: work casually in primary schools

In five years I hope:

: to have a full-time role, be it in a primary school or long day care or preschool
: to be deciding whether I would like to get my Masters
: to be saving and learning about running a preschool or long day care
: to advocate for children and the importance of play within primary schools

In ten years I hope:

: to be a director of a long day care or preschool and hopefully own
: to work with primary schools and develop transitions programs

While none of these are set in stone, they are just some things that I hope to accomplish in my future as an Early Childhood Teacher and I hope that over the years I will continue to strive for these goals, and extend and modify them as need be.

I notice that I set goals a lot, I wonder if this is the inner organiser within me?

I looked after the little boy that I previously looked after {between June and August} the other week. It was BLISS. I don’t think there has been a moment when I was more happy. While my legs ached like I had just ran a marathon, not that I really know what that would feel like, I was happy with what I was doing. Something I had not felt in so long.

Sure I loved working in the primary school, but it was different to what I am used to. So many people, specially my mum, are telling me to stay in schools because the money is better. Yes, it is. But what if I am not cut out to be a primary school teacher? What if long day care and preschools just suit me, and my pedagogy better?

After spending those two days with Byron, I cannot imagine a life without nappies, cuddles, kisses, and play. I know that a lot of people just assume that we, Early Childhood Teachers, only play with the children all day and while we do play it is how the children develop, learn and grow.

I know that I don’t have to choose immediately, I just have it running through my head every moment. And while I know that money shouldn’t play such a major role in my decision, it does. What if I just teach for a year or two and build up my bank account so that we can get the house and then go back into long day care? Or is that a silly way to look at it?

When I think of teaching the first thing that comes to my mind is Reggio Emilia, that small town in Italy. I adore the philosophy that is occurring over there and that is attempted to be implemented within America and Australia.

For me, as a teacher, I love implementing play-based curricula and one where I am a learner with the children. I love watching their ideas and theories come pouring out and all at once talking over each other. Trying to get their voice heard.

But, as a teacher do you listen?

I find that at times, you can miss that one child and their big idea. At what cost have you missed that? What if that one theory could have provoked a learning that cannot be replaced or replicated? What if other children had been thinking an idea that would have bounced off the one you missed, but you will now never hear that either?

Are you listening?

One goal I always have for myself is to listen and really listen. To be there with the children, theory-making with them, alongside them and developing their ideas and theories together.

I really need to buy a recorder so I never miss a theory or idea. Again.

I was a little shocked the other day, Friday to be exact, when I opened up my portfolio and worked out my mark. It was the biggest assignment I had ever completed, and I was more than upset when I saw that mark. I managed to get 60/100 for the entire assignment. Yes, I had expected more of myself.

Since being at university since 2008, low marks have never been my strong point. I am quite happy to say I have never failed {or pass conceeded} a unit or assignment. However, getting low marks especially in units and assignments where I expected more of myself and of the mark I would attain, it leaves me feeling a little heartbroken and somewhat of a failure.

As my partner put it, you still passed.

While, yes I did pass, it is a very poor pass mark and something that I did not expect to attain. I cried when I read it. Even now, thinking about it, it upsets me.

Comments such as:
~ Clarity needed within sentences
~ Wider references would have been useful
~ More analysis needed
~ Deeper research would have been useful

Just make me want to bang my head against a brickwall. These comments are throughout my assignments, and I just cannot get the hang of it.

Am I still meant to be a teacher if I cannot even write a clear and concise sentence?

I hope so, because teaching is what I love to do.